hostess_haruhi (hostess_haruhi) wrote in xdcosplaydx,
hostess_haruhi
hostess_haruhi
xdcosplaydx

Finished!

Ok guys, here goes nothing.  I got most of the skit finished and as soon as I work in the Elephant Love Medley (*pokes whitney* ^^), I think it'll be done.  I did a dry run-through thing on my own and it looks like it'll be about 45 minutes to an hour long. ^^;;;  Not bad.  I think it's going to be awesome.  I've already got buddies online wanting to see it when it's videotaped lol...  So here we go!

Oh!  And please, Please, PLEASE print off a copy and bring it to the club meeting.  I can't afford to print that many for everyone ;-;

Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, Welcome to KH-Myu! (or whatever we call it...)  Please give a warm welcome to ROXAS!!!

01. Opening - "Roxas" (originally "Roxie" from Chicago)

The game on every PS2
Is gonna star... Roxas!  (throws her hood back)
The kid that's making his debut
Is gonna be... Roxas! (throw hands out)

I'm gonna be a celebrity
That means
Somebody all fangirls know (point out to audience)
They're gonna recognize my eyes (jazz hands)
My hair(flips hair), my keyblade(swing), and my clothes(femmey action)

From just some lame side character
I'm gonna be... Roxas~!
Who says you need some stupid heart~~~

And that dumb Sora's gonna cry I know
To see his game tota'ly overthrown
by~ Roxas... yeah!  (hold a pose)

Riku (in black cloak): There you are... what do you think you're doing!? (roxas still holding pose)

Roxas: I'm starring in Kingdom Hearts 2, what's it look like? 

Riku: I think you're getting a little ahead of yourself.

Roxas: Oh yeah? (breaks pose and goes to fight stance)

Riku: *fighting stance*  You're comin' with me. 

Roxas: But I have a game to star in!

Riku: I don't have time to argue with you.

Roxas: How are you going to fight me when you're wearing a blindfold?! 

Riku: It's an accessory.  It increases my hotness level by +5. *sexy pose*  (sfx blip)

Roxas: Riiiight.  It also decreases your accuracy by -30. (sfx down sound and thumbs down)

Riku: What do you know,  You're just a cheap knock-off!

((they fight - it would be neat if we could do some of those "matrix" type moves they use in some skits.))

((Riku wins and he and DiZ drag Roxas offstage))

Offstage voices as Roxas changes to regular clothes -

Riku: Hurry Namine'!  We don't have a lot to time!  Is this really going to work? 

DiZ: We'll have to keep him in the program until she can finish.

Riku: How long will that take?

DiZ: If we rush the process, it could have ill effects on your friend...

Computer voice: Restoration at 12%

((Roxas wakes up in his regular clothes and enters the stage, looking sleepy))

Roxas: A scattered dream that's like a far-off memory... A far-off memory that's like a scattered dream...  Gah, I'm not even making any sense.  I dreamed I was someone ELSE, how weird is that?  Who is that Sora kid anyway?  *sighs*

02. The Mysterious Dream - (Originally "The impossible dream" - Man of La Mancha)

To dream the mysterious dream
So familiar, I ought to know
To bear a keyblade and fight evil
Find Kaaaaaairi and her friend who's emoooo~

Not fair, I just want to be Roxas!
To staaaaay here and live my own dream
Hang out, with Hayner, Pence, and Oleeette
To eat lots of sea-salt ice cream~!

Offstage(unless we can get actors for Hayner, Pence or Olette)

Hayner: Hey Roxas, hurry up!  You said you'd join the tournament, remember?

Pence: Seifer says he's gonna mop the floor with you!

Olette: Pence!  That's not very nice!

Pence: He said it, not me!

((Roxas walks offstage, riku and DiZ return))

Riku: Still?  How much longer?

Computer voice: Restoration at 78%

DiZ: She's almost finished, just a little more...

Riku: Ugh, this is so frustrating!  And to top it all off, those Organization XIII guys are getting wise to us! 

DiZ: We'll just have to be patient.  We need more time!

Announcer: And now, the match you've been waiting for---

Roxas: Aw, man, not again... what's with this world freezing up on me...?  Someone hit Ctrl Alt Del!!  I've been blue-screened!

Offstage Axel: Oh ROXAS~~~

Roxas: Dear god... I have chills... as though I can hear the squeals of thousands of rabid fangirls crying out at once...

Axel: Alright!  Fight. Fight. Fight!  *pause*  You really don't remember?  It's me, Axel!  *flips back hood*

Roxas: Axel?

Axel: Talk about blank with a capital "B." Man oh man.

Roxas: Wait a sec, tell me what's going on!

Axel (looking around): This town is his creation, right? Which means we don't have time for a Q & A. You're coming with me, conscious or not. Then you'll hear the story.

Roxas: Do you have any idea how... *facepalm*  Choose your words a little more carefully man!  There are FANGIRLS out there!  I definitely don't plan on going anywhere with you while I'm UNCONSCIOUS!  What are you, some kind of pedophile?!

Axel: Now you're just being mean.

DiZ: *appears* Roxas, this man speaks nonsense!

Roxas: well I could have told you that...

Axel: Roxas, don't let him deceive you!

DiZ: Roxas!

Axel: Roxas!

Roxas: Shut up!  I know I'm hot and all, but geez!  Show a little restraint!

DiZ: *looks at his watch*  I'm sorry kid, but I'm afraid that's all the time we have for you.

Roxas: what?  But I just started my adventure! 

DiZ: No one wants to watch you play lame little sidequests and mini-games in twilight town the whole time!

Axel: I DO!!

DiZ: *sigh*  We have a story to tell here, and we've wasted... five whole minutes on a minor character!

Roxas: Minor Character!?  But I thought this was my story!

Namine': Sorry Roxas, but it's time.

Roxas: And you are...?

Namine': I'm Namine'.  We've only met for a few minutes, but I'm sure everyone will 'ship our pairing!

*dead silence*

Roxas: *coughs*  So what's with all you guys, it's like everyone's obsessed with me or something...  Especially these people in dark cloaks.  It's kind of creepy...

Naminé: They're a group of incomplete people who wish to be whole. To that end, they're desperately searching for something.

Axel: *shakes his head and walks away*

Roxas: What?

Naminé: Kingdom Hearts.

*Roxas chuckles*

Naminé: Funny?

Roxas: It's just, I think---I've been running away from the question I really wanna ask.  *pause*  What's gonna happen to me now? Just tell me that. Nothing else really matters anymore.

Naminé: You are-

DiZ: Hold it!  That's an important plot point!  We can't tell you it right at the beginning!

Namine': Oh, right, sorry!

Roxas: But... HEY!

DiZ: *pulls namine' away*  Now we must disappear mysteriously!  Away~!!!! 

Roxas: *stands there for a moment, looking thoughtful*  In spite of all these plot holes, I think I'm starting to remember...  That weird organization...  that red-headed guy...

Axel: *reappears*  Oh sure, NOW you remember... I'm so FLATTERED! 



03. What is Roxas Feeling? (originally "What is this Feeling?" from Wicked)

BOTH: There's been some confusion
Over things in Twilight Town~:

AXEL
But of course, I'll bring back Roxas:

ROXAS
But of course, I'll beat your face in~:

BOTH
For I know that's how I really should respond
Yes, there's been some confusion
For you see, this person is:

ROXAS (Aside to audience)
Unusually and exceedingly peculiar
And altogether quite impossible to describe:

AXEL (stomps his foot)
Blonde!

ROXAS
What is this feeling?
So sudden and new?

AXEL (acting all blushy)
I felt the moment
I laid eyes on you:

ROXAS (hand on his heart)
My pulse is rushing:

AXEL
My head is reeling:

ROXAS (fans face)
My face is flushing

BOTH
What is this feeling?
Fervid as a flame,
Does it have a name?
Yes!

ROXAS Loathing!
Unadulterated loathing!

AXEL
*confused*

ROXAS
For your face *points*
Your voice
Your clothing! *pokes his cloak*

AXEL
*shocked and falling backward with each insult*

ROXAS
Let's just say - I loathe it all
Ev'ry little trait, however small
Makes my very flesh begin to crawl
With simple utter loathing
There's a strange exhilaration
In such total detestation
It's so pure so strong!
Though I do admit it came on fast
Still I do believe that it can last
And I will be loathing
Loathing you
My whole life long!

AXEL
My dear Roxas, you are just too mean!
How can you say that? It is just obscene!
You're a terror! A heartbreaker!
I don't mean to scream and yell,
But Roxas, I just fell---

ROXAS
Wait... you don't even have a heart.

AXEL
Poor lil Roxas, forced to reside
In a town like this, it's all just a lie!
But I just want to tell you:
I am on your side!

ROXAS
What is this feeling
AXEL(in a whiny voice)
Loathing?!
ROXAS
So sudden and new?
AXEL
Unadulterated loathing!?
ROXAS
I felt the moment
AXEL
For my face, my voice, my clothing?!
ROXAS
I laid eyes on you
My pulse is rushing
AXEL
He just said...
ROXAS
My head is reeling
AXEL
He loathes it all?
ROXAS
Oh, what is this feeling?
AXEL
Ev'ry little trait
ROXAS
Does it have a name?
AXEL
Makes his very flesh
ROXAS
Yes:
AXEL
Begin to crawl...
BOTH
Ahhh: Ahhh: (not like THAT you guys >.>

BOTH
Loathing!

ROXAS (as they fight up close, almost like a dance or something)
There's a strange exhilaration
AXEL
Loathing?  (sounding more pathetic each time he says it)
ROXAS
In such total detestation
AXEL
Loathing?
ROXAS
So pure, so strong
AXEL
Loathing?!?!
So strong~~~~~ TToTT

BOTH
Though I do admit it came on fast
Still I do believe that it can last
And I(he) will be loathing Loathing
For forever loathing Loathing
Truly deeply loathing Loathing you(me)
My(His) whole Loathing
Life long! Unadulterated loathing

AXEL
*runs away* Waaaaaaaaah ;-;

ROXAS
Ah!  What a weirdo!

Roxas: *turns to see the "capsule" thing Sora is enclosed in*  What the!  When did that get here!? 

(place during the song...  we can probably make something like this out of seran wrap and a lot of determination...) 

Roxas: *peers in*  So you're that Sora kid huh. 

Sora: *walks out* Hm... *yawns and stretches*  That was a pretty good nap!  Where am I anyway...? *looks around*  And where are Donald and Goo-

(offstage, jiminy?): Shush!  You're at an ANIME convention, people don't want to hear about DISNEY here! 

Sora: Jiminy?  *looks at his shoulder*  But Kingdom Hearts isn't Anime either!  It's a video game!

(offstage, jiminy?): : Close enough!  Besides, there's a manga too, it's probably just a matter of time before there's an anime...

Sora: Well... Hey, how come my clothes are different?

(offstage, jiminy?): : are you kidding?  Just what kind of a budget do you think we have?  We didn't have money to waste on your magical boy transformation sequence!

Sora: Oh... right.  So where do we go from here?

(offstage, jiminy?): It looks like the only world you can reach right now is Hollow Bastion.

Sora: *sigh*  That sounds promising.

((if we have enough people, it would be fun to throw in a bleach character and make a pun about “hollows”  Ichigo or Rukia or someone: "Hey!  There aren't any hollows here!"))

Sora: Looks a lot better since last time we were here.  Let’s see if we can find any of the Restoration Committee members… oh!  I think that’s Leon over there! 

Sora:  Hey Leon! 

Leon: I knew it.

Sora: Knew what?

Leon: A while back, everyone suddenly remembered you, all at the same time.

Sora: You...remembered? Wait! Does that mean you forgot about me!?  Thanks a lot!

Leon: Hey, you’re the one that left.  Anyway, it doesn’t matter, you’re back and we need your help.

Sora: Wait, but I’m still trying to find Riku and that King guy

Leon: Sorry kid, haven’t seen ‘em.

Sora: *pouts* Really?

Leon: More importantly, Hollow Bastion's got a problem. A big problem.

Sora: You mean, like Nobodies? And Heartless?

Leon: Well...

04. Survive the Heartless (Originally "i will survive" by Gloria Gayner)

Leon breaks into "I will survive" when talking about the growing problem with nobodies and heartless...

First I was afraid
I was petrified
Heartless wherever you look,
Coming in on every side

But I spent so many nights
Trying to right these wrongs
So I grew strong
I learned how to carry on
and now you're back!

Sora: from outer space!

I just walked in to find you here
with that goofy grin upon your face
There’s lots of hearts here to unlock
And your new weapon is the key
Seeing you kinda makes me glad
That you came back to bother me

Come on let’s go!
walk out the door!
just turn around now
Heartless are not welcome anymore
Aren’t you glad that this is not our last goodbye?
We cannot crumble
We cannot lay down and die!
Oh no, not I
I will survive
as long as i know how to fight
I know I will stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got lots of pain to give *punching motion or sword swinging*
and I'll survive
I will survive…

Sora: Don’t worry Leon, we’ll beat ‘em!

Leon: Well, that's good to hear. We need all the help we can get.

Sora: I bet.  With the Heartless, and those new Nobodies…

Leon: And those Organization XIII guys in charge, too!

Axel: You called?

05. World that Never Was Tango (originally "Cell Block Tango" from Chicago)

Xigbar:Sitar...
Axel:Keyblade...
other:Squish...
Demyx:Ummm...
Saix:Paopu...
Xemnas:Disney!
(2X)

[ALL]
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it

Axel: I betcha you would have done the same!

Xigbar:Sitar
Axel:Keyblade
other:Squish
Demyx:Ummm
Saix:Paopu
Xemnas:Disney!

Xigbar (Spoken):
You know how people
have these little habits
That get you down. Like DEMYX.

Demyx: Hey, w-wait, what?!

Xigbar:
Demyx likes to play his sitar.
Not just that. He'd DANCE.

*Demyx does some
kind of dance-ish pose and "woos!"*

Xigbar:
So I come over this one day,
And I am really irritated, and
looking for a little sympathy
and there's Demyx, swinging that Sitar around
and yelling that stupid line, you know the one.
So, I said to him,
I said, "You say that
catch phrase one more time..."

Demyx: Dance Water Dance!

Xigbar:
and he did.
So I took out my automatics
and I fired two warning shots...
...into his head.

*Demyx falls over*

[ALL]
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have heard it
I betcha you would
Have done the same!

Axel (Spoken):
I met Roxas from the Organization
about a year ago.
he told me he was a Nobody too
and we hit it off right away.

So, we started going to the Organization together.
We'd hang out, we'd plot evil,
I'd get his favorite ice cream...
And then I found out,
"Nobody" he told me?
Nobody, my ass!
Not only was he Somebody...
...oh, no, he was SORA.
One of those Keyblade Masters, you know.
So I...

Sora: Wait, wait, wait!  What?  Who is the Roxas guy you keep talking about?  It’s pronounced “So-Ra.”  SORA. 

Xigbar: Sorry kid, we ain’t got time to sit around and explain it to ya.

Sora: But!  There’s only one me, so how…

((The organization exits))

Sora: Now I’m really confused…

Leon: Well, why don’t you travel around a few different worlds and I’m sure things will start to make sense. 

Sora: I guess.  What sounds good… *starts wandering around stage*  I get to be a furrie in the pridelands, but being an emo kid in HalloweenTown is fun too…

06. Visiting Worlds - (originally "A Whole New World" from Aladdin)

((Have things from various worlds flying by as though he's travelling to each one.))

Sora:
I can go to new worlds
Shining, shimmering, splendid
In my gummi ship I'll go
It's just too hard to decide!

Disney Castle was fun,
Though sometimes there were blunders,
Agrabah was a wonder
On that magic carpet ride!

A whole new world!
Neverland had quite a view
Land of Dragons had snow,
And Beast's Castle, Woah!
It's like I'm only dreaming~!

Riku: *runs in, though cloaked*
A whole new world!
When will Sora get a clue?
*shakes head* He's been to Wonderland,
 The Pride Lands And~
Then there's the 100 acre woods with Pooh
Sora:
Now I'm in a whole new world with-

Riku:
Unbelievable sights
Indescribable feeling
Port Royal I swear I heard squealing
AsJack got drunk and Zom-bi-fiiied~

A whole new world!

Sora:
Don't you dare close your eyes
Riku:
In Hollow Bastion so much to see~
Sora:
Don't forget Timeless River~
Both:
And then there was Hades
With Hercules
But Destiny Islands is where we wish we could be

Riku:
A whole new world!
Sora:
And then At-lan-ti-ca~
Riku:
The singing there, it stank P.U.!
Sora:
Halloween Town was better
I'll chase my friends anywhere
Riku:
There's time to spare
Both:
Wish I could share all these new worlds you!

Sora:
A whole new world
Riku:
That's where I'll be
Sora:
A thrilling chase
Riku:
A wondrous place
Both:
For you, Kairi, and me!!

((The song ends and Riku runs off))

Sora: Wait!  Wait, Riku is that you?  Please come back!  We have to stick together!  *chases after*  I won't give up!


Kairi: *walking along by herself*  I wonder where they are.  If they're ok.  *worried*  I made it here to twilight town, but... I can't seem to find any leads...

Axel: What took you so long, Kairi?

Kairi: You again!

Axel: Somehow I just knew you'd be here. I tell ya, Kairi, you've got a lot of guts, coming after your little boyfriends like this.

Kairi: What?

Axel: Well come on, it's time to come with Axel~.

Kairi: Let go of me! Let go!

Axel: Do you have any idea how many fangirls would LOVE to be in your position?  Just come on already!

Kairi:  Why do you want me, anyway?

Axel: Well, I'm sure it's a decision I'll come to regret later, but for right now it seems like a good idea.

Kairi: Nooooo! *dragged off-stage*

Sora: *talking to self*  Ok, So let me see if I've got this straight.  This is all so confusing.  So... the Ansem guy I fought before... He wasn't really Ansem at all, he was that Xehanort guy's Heartless!  Which means Xehanort's Nobody is out there too, and he's in charge of Organization XIII.  This is such a mess...  And now Hollow Bastion is overrun with Heartless!  Man, what am I gonna do?

Leon: There you are.  I thought you were going to help us defeat all these Heartless, what took you so long?

Sora: Do you have any idea how many sidequests and mini-games there are!? 

Leon: ...whatever.  We don't have time for this.  Come on, let's go already!  There's over a thousand of them out there!

Sora: Then we better get started!  *have people in black "heartless" fight with them*  One!  Ha!  Two!  Three!

*sign goes by that says "Several hours later"*

Sora is swinging wearily

Sora: Nine hundred Ninety eight... *swing* Nine hundred ninety nine... One THOUSAND!  Ugh!  *collapse or fall to knees*

Axel:  *walks onstage* Way to fall right into their trap.

Sora: huh?

Axel: C'mon, it's a set-up by Organization XIII. Xemnas is using you to destroy the Heartless---that's his big master plan.

Sora: Xemnas?

Axel: The guy you were talking about, Xehanort's Nobody. He's their leader. M-A-N-S-E-X, manse-- I mean...    X-E-M, N-A-S, XEMNAS.  Got it memorized? 

Sora: Organization XIII wants to get rid of the Heartless?

Axel: Man, you're slow.

(Axel points to the Keyblade)

Axel: Every Heartless slain with that Keyblade releases a captive heart. That is what the Organization is after.

Sora: So what are those guys gonna do with the hearts?

Axel: I'm not telling.

Sora: Ugh... just tell me!!  Wait... You...you're the one who kidnapped Kairi!

Axel: Bingo. How'd you find out about that anyway?

Sora: *shrugs*

Axel: The name's Axel. Got it memorized?

Sora: Where is Kairi?

(Axel scratches his head)

Sora: Please. Just tell me!

Axel: Look, about Kairi...

Saïx: Axel!

(Saïx appears between Axel and Sora)

Axel: Uh-oh!

(Axel runs off. Sora tries to run after him, but Saïx holds out his arms and stops him)

Saïx: We'll ensure he receives the maximum punishment.

Sora: I don't care about any of that! Just let me into the realm of darkness, okay!?

Saïx: If it's Kairi you're worried about, don't. We're taking very good care of her.

Sora: Take me to her.

Saïx: Is she that important to you?

Sora: Yeah. More than anything!

Saïx: Show me how important.

Sora: wait... what?

Saïx: Come on kid, think, you got any Munny?  Maybe some choice items?  I might be persuaded to let you in...

Sora: Uh... Sorry, I spent the last of my Munny on Sea Salt Ice Cream back in Twilight Town.  It's pretty good stuff...

Saïx: And you didn't share?  Pff... In that case... maybe you should try going back to your precious Twilight Town.  You might find something there...

Sora: Twilight Town...?

*and he scurries off to twilight town.*

Sora: Hmm... I don't remember this huge mystical portal being here...

((have a few dressed as nobodies in white))

Sora: Aw man, there's Nobodies everywhere!  Their pelvic thrusting is blinding!  Where's my eyedrops?!  Esuna!  Esuna! 

Axel: Need a hand?

07. Victory

*ff7 battle music comes on*

Axel: What kind of fight music is that?!  Come on, this is a musical!  Even Demyx could do better than THAT!

Sora: So how do you fight in a musical...?

Axel: Isn't it obvious?  We have a dance off with these suckas!!  Hit it! *snaps his fingers*

08. Dance Off - Various

Axel:  Get it right already!

*Disco inferno*  Axel and Sora jam disco like.

((Nobodies dance back))

Sora: No way man, we're getting SERVED, let's try it MY style!

*I need a hero* ((They do the napoleon dynamite dance))

((One of the Nobodies falls, the rest keep dancing))

Axel: Huh.  I can handle these punks, watch this!  *tries to do a killer dance move, but falls on his butt*

((Fade Musics))

((Nobodies run off))

Sora: Yikes!  Are you ok?!

Axel: I give up... go find Kairi.  Sorry Sora, but... your princess is in another castle.

Sora: aw man!  Which one?  Come on!  Show me!

Axel: Think I'll pass, my heart just wouldn't be in it you know?  Haven't got one.

Sora: Hehe.  That's funny cuz... your heart and... heh.

Axel: Shut up you!  These are my last moments, I have to endear myself to the fans.

Sora: What?

Axel: *overly dramatic*  I wanted to see Roxas...  He... was the only one I liked...  He made me feel-

Sora: Woah.  WOAH.  WAY too much information dude.  Do you have any idea how much Yaoi fodder you just gave those fangirls?

Axel: *hugs* I wish I could quit you...

Sora: *pushes him away*  Just DIE already!

Axel: *dies(feel free to dramatize)*

Sora: *gets up and brushes self off*  Alright, here goes nothing...   Riku!  Kairi!  Where are you guys?!

09. Roxas vs. Sora - Who is better?  (originally "Anything you can do" from Annie Get Your Gun)

Sora wanders around: What is this place?  Some kinda city...?

Roxas shows up: YOU.

Sora: Who're you?

Roxas: I'm Roxas.

Sora: You are?

Roxas: Yes, and I want my life back you jerk!

Sora: I didn't take it!

Roxas: Did so!

Sora: Hey, it's not my fault you SUCK.

Roxas: I do NOT!!

Sora: Oh yeah?  Well then how come...

*cue music*

S: Anything you can do, I can do better.

R: HA!

S: I can do ANYTHING better than you.

R: No, you can't.

S:Yes, I can.

R:No, you can't.

S:Yes, I can.

R:No, you can't.

S:Yes, I can, Yes, I can!

R: Anything you can be,
I can be greater.
Sooner or later,
I'm greater than you.

S: No, you're not.

R: Yes, I am.

S: No, you're not.

R: Yes, I am.

S: No, you're NOT!.

R: Yes, I am.  Yes, I am!

R: I can fight a nobody
With two blades that are keys.

S: I can set a heart free
and I only need ONE key.

R: I can live on sea salt ice cream.

S: And only on that?

R: Yes.

S: That's... really gross.  Don't they have anything else in Twilight Town?

Roxas: Hmph...Any note you can reach
I can go higher.
I can sing anything
Higher than you.

S: No, you can't. (High)

R: Yes, I can. (Higher)

S: *swings the keyblade to cut the music*  Roxas, you can talk to me about who's a better singer after you've visited Atlantica.  I don't even wanna hear about it.  Come on, let's go.

Roxas: aw man...

Sora: Phew!  How many more of these black cloaked people do I have to fight?

Xigbar: At least one more...

Sora: AH!  *blinks*  Nice eye-patch.

Xigbar: Stick 'em up kid!

Sora: What kinda fight is this, a gun vs. a sword?!  That's totally not fair!

Xigbar: Sure it is, there's Kenshin, Advent Children, Cowboy Bebop... You're just a wuss.

Sora: Am NOT!

Xigbar: *sigh* come on kid, I haven't got time to argue with you.

Sora: I know, I know!  Let's settle this with a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors.

Xigbar: *groan*  Alright fine.  But if I win, you can't whine about dying later.

Sora: Uh... how would I whine about it later...?

Xigbar: *shakes his head*  Alright, let's just do this!

Sora: Ready?

Both:
Rock
Paper
Scissors!

((sora throws down scissors, but uses them instead to poke xig in the eye.))

Xig: AH!  That was my GOOD eye!!  You little cheat!

Sora: Sorry dude, you lose!  Game Over!  *swings keyblade and smacks him out cold*

Sora: *pauses*  Well... anyone else?  Hey... wait... is that...?

*kairi and riku come on stage* 

Kairi: You and Riku never came home, so I came looking for you.

(Sora looks away from her)

Sora: I'm sorry.

(Kairi rushes up and hugs him, much to Sora's surprise)

(Hooded Riku starts to leave, but Kairi runs over and stops him)

Kairi: Riku, don't go!

Sora: Huh? Kairi, what did you just say?

Kairi: Riku.

Riku: I'm no one---just a castaway from the darkness.

Sora: *gasp*  I'd know that Emo attitude anywhere! Riku... It's Riku. Riku's here...

(Sora falls to his knees, holding Riku's hand, tears rolling down his face)

Sora: I looked for you!

Riku: C'mon, Sora. You've got to pull it together, people are gonna think we're...

Sora: I looked everywhere for you!

Riku: I didn't want you to find me, I got all uglified!  But thanks to the magic of cheap special effects... I'm ok now! 

Sora: *looking at him strangely*  What's with the blindfold?

Riku: Oh...

(Riku grabs his blindfold and pulls it from his face. His eyes are finally opened)

Sora: What was that?

Riku: My eyes couldn't lie.

Sora: Huh?  That doesn't make any sense.

Kairi: It's the best excuse Square-Enix could come up with.

Sora: Riku... C'mon, man! Why did you try to do so much on your own?  You got friends...like us!

(Riku looks at each of them in turn)

Riku: Have you forgotten? I'll tell you why. 'Cause I'm not a total sap like you.

((Kairi laughs and walks away))

Kairi: Come on guys, let's get going!

(He smirks)

10. Tango Kairi (originally the "Tango Maureen" from RENT)

Sora: Why do you always have to make fun of me in front of Kairi?!

Riku: At least she likes you. You should feel lucky for that.

Sora: Pfft.

Riku: Well, you look pretty cozy to me. At least you aren’t being paired off with people like Ansem . . . (shudders)

Sora: Hey, being with Kairi isn’t has easy as it looks.

Riku: Oh, really? What could be so bad about it?

Sora: . . . (looks away) It’s . . . it’s nothing.

Riku: Come-on, Sora! We’re all alone! You can tell me!

Sora: (scoots away from him)

[Sora]

This is weird

[Riku]

It's weird?

[Sora]

Very weird

[Riku]

Oh.

[Sora]

I'm so mad
I have no clue what to do
Fighting with Nobodies
Lots of hearts to set free.
And to top it all off
I'm with you

[Riku]

Feel like going crazy?
Your mind gettin’ hazy?
And you're thinking of sea-salt ice cream?

[Sora]

As a matter of fact --

[Riku]

Sora, I know this act
It's called the 'Tango Kairi'
The Tango Kairi
It's a dark, evil fall to the ground
As she keeps you guessing

[Sora]

Shut up!

[Riku]

Your mind she is messing

[Sora]

It's different with me

[Riku]

And you cry and you whine
'Cause her blue eyes can bind
Yet you fight all your might and rebound

[Sora]

I think I know what you mean

[Both]

The Tango Kairi

[Riku]

Has she ever pouted her lips
And called you 'Lazy'

[Sora]

Uh . . .

[Riku]

Have you ever doubted a glomp or two?

[Sora]

This is crazy
Did she make you go look for supplies?

[Riku]

Every time -- so be careful

[Sora]

Did she ever get kidnapped?

[Riku]

More than once --

[Sora]

I'm gonna hurl
[They begin to dance, with Riku leading.]

[Riku]

Where'd you learn to tango?

[Sora]

Well . . . Er . . .
Let’s just say . . . You get really bored when you’re traveling.
And you?

[Riku]

You know Demyx? Well . . .
You’ll start to do anything to keep him from playing his sitar.

[They switch, and Sora leads.]

[Riku]

I don’t think I can do this backwards

[Sora]

You should try in these shoes!

She’s kidnapped

[Riku]

She’s kidnapped?

[Sora]

Kairi’s kidnapped

[Riku]

Always kidnapped!

[Sora]

I've been slapped
I should end this real quick

[Riku]

Gotta keep being happy
As much as you can

[Sora]

I'm getting annoyed with this chick!

[BOTH]

When fighting for her
You can never be sure
There is no such thing as a cure


[Riku]

So you think, ‘Couldn’t hurt’

[Sora]

"Tangoing into the dirt"

[BOTH]

'At least I'll have tangoed at all'
The Tango Kairi
Gotta dance till your princess is done
You promise to protect her
Cause in the end -- you can't leave her
But the end will draw near
And you’ll feel so much fear
Till you leer and you jeer
For a year

[Riku]

Why do we love when she’s rude?

[Sora]

And she can ruin your mood
My Kairi~

[BOTH]

The Tango Kairi!

Sora: *pulls a face at him* So what should we do now, Riku?

Riku: We must defeat Xemnas.

Sora: Wait, where's Kairi?

(Riku whips off his cloak)

Kairi: *returns*  Hurry up you two--- oooh.  *looks riku up and down*  Hey Riku...  How YOU doin'?

Riku: Uh...

Sora: *points*  There's he is!  Come on you guys!

Riku: Stop right there Xemnas!!

Xemnas: So...it seems your hearts have led you to obliteration. Perhaps it doesn't pay to be too loyal to one's heart. I will have to be sure and remember that.

((They exchange a few blows before Xemnas runs off))

Riku: That coward!  I'll open a path!

(He holds out a hand and nothing happens)

Kairi: You don't belong in the dark realm anymore, Riku.

Sora: Then how can we follow him?

Namine appears with her own 'portal' (zomg, we might actually have to do some sets... >.<)

Kairi: Thank you, Naminé.

Naminé: Sure. See? We meet again, like we promised.

Sora: Huh?

((Roxas walks through some of the backstage curtains so it looks like he walked from behind Sora))

Roxas: You said we'd meet again, but when we did, we might not recognize each other.

Naminé: Mmm...it's strange.

Roxas: I think I understand. I see myself the way you remember me. And you see yourself the way I remember you.

Naminé: I always thought Nobodies were doomed to fade back into darkness...

Roxas: Yeah, but you and I didn't. We got to meet our original selves.  Even if he is kind of a dork.

Naminé: So, we can be together again!

(Roxas walks to the side of her)

Roxas: Right. Anytime Sora and Kairi are together.

Kairi: We'll be together every day. Right, Sora?

Sora: Uh...yeah!

Riku: Hey, what about me?!

((Namine vanishes into the portal))

Roxas: I guess you make an ok "other."  Make sure we don't get too bored ok? 

Sora: *laughs*  Right, I will.

(Roxas fades away.)

Sora (checking himself): Huh?

Riku: Don't worry. You're all still you.

Kairi (standing next to the portal): Hey, let's go home!

Sora: Riku... C'mon.

Riku: Yeah.

(Kairi walks inside the portal and it starts to close. Sora and Riku run to it, as Kairi turns back)

Kairi: Sora! Riku!

Xemnas: *returns*  Heroes from the realm of light... I will not allow it to end this way---not yet. If light and darkness are eternal, then surely we nothings must be the same... Eternal!  ((he throws off his black jacket to reveal his awesome colorful one))

Sora: Woah.

Riku: Ugh!

Xemnas (chuckling): Give in to the darkness!

Sora: What is with that coat?

Xemnas: This?  Why it's my AMAZING TECHNICOLOR ORGANIZATION XIII COAT!!

((Sora and Riku look knowingly at each other))


11. The amazing technicolor Organization XIII Coat (Originally "Go go go Joseph" from Joseph and the amazing technicolor dream coat)

((Riku and Sora pointing and laughing))
Go, go, go Xemnas you know what they say
Ev-ry-one al-ready knows you are gay~
((They stand back to back ready to fight))
(Riku)
Don't give up Sora, we'll fight till we drop
(Sora)
I know in my heart we'll end up on top!

Xemnas: Very funny you little brats!  *grabs sora's shirtfront and nobodies come in and hold him in place*(We can't afford the creepy bondage special effects, ok? lol) 

Riku: Sora no!

Xemnas: Can you spare...a heart?

Riku: What's wrong with you?  Putting young boys in compromising situations?  Are you friends with Michael Jackson or something?

12. Smooth Criminal

As He Came Into The Window
It Was The Sound Of A Crescendo
He Came Into Her Apartment
He Left The Bloodstains On The Carpet
She Ran Underneath The Table
He Could See She Was Unable
So She Ran Into The Bedroom
She Was Struck Down, It Was Her Doom

(Riku finally beats xemnas back enough to free sora)

Riku:
Sora Are You OK?
So, Sora Are You OK
Are You OK, Sora?!
Sora Are You OK?
So, Sora Are You OK
Are You OK, Sora?!

Sora: *shakes his head a couple times*  I'm fine!  Let's finish this guy!

(fight a little more and riku ends up taking a hit for sora.  They combine their keyblades and zap xemnas?  I dunno how we'll make this look real :( but we can try)

(add sfx from mortal kombat "Finish Him!!")

Sora: Alright!  We did it!!

Riku: But we're stuck here in the darkness.  *sigh* 

Sora: We'll find a way out, don't worry.

Riku: How can you always be so cheerful?

Sora: I guess... I just think of all the good things there are to enjoy, all the fun times we've had...

Riku: Pff!  That's dumb... how can you think about that when there's so many OBNOXIOUS things out there...?

Sora: Huh?

13. Least Favorite Things - (Originally "My favorite things" from Sound of Music.)

Riku:
Horrible poses and fangirls with cameras
Bright colored cosplays and character dramas
Overused sayings and yaoi pairings
These are some of my least favorite things

Fans on su-gar highs who look like they've gone wild
Stop asking me if I'm Seph-i-roth's love child
And hanging out with that stupid mouse king 
These are some of my least favorite things

When a guy glomps
When the funk smells
Being called a Homo~
I simply remember my least favorite things
And no I am not, emo~

Riku: ((staggers))Sora?

Sora: Hm?

Riku: You lead.

Sora: Got it.

(Sora walks over and helps Riku along)

Riku: You know... I always figured I was better at stuff than you.

Sora: Really?

Riku: Are you mad?

Sora: No. I kinda always thought you were better at everything, too. *pause* Riku---look. What's that light?

Riku: I hear something...

Sora: *listens*  It says... "Thinking of you, wherever you are."

Sora & Kairi: We pray for our sorrows to end, and hope that our hearts will blend. Now I will step forward to realize this wish.

Kairi: *walks out on stage* And who knows: Starting a new journey may not be so hard or maybe it has already begun. There are many worlds, but they share the same sky---one sky, one destiny.

Sora: Kairi!

Kairi: Sora! Riku!

Sora: We're back.

Kairi (holding out her hand): You're home.



"Seize the day" from Newsies

Sora (slowly):
Time for the end-ing of our play
Seen lots of worlds along our way
Nothing can break us
No one can make us
Give our hearts away
Arise and seize the day

Riku:
Now is the time to seize the day
Sora and Kairi echo:
Now is the time to seize the day
Riku:
Send out the call and join the fray
Sora and Kairi echo:
Send out the call and join the fray

Sora:
(Takes Kairi's hand)
Wrongs can be righted
(Takes Riku's hand)
When we're united

All:(lift hands into the air)
Let us seize the day!

Axel (returns):
Friends of the friendless, seize the day
All others echo:
Friends of the friendless, seize the day
Axel:
Raise up the torch and light the way
All others echo:
Raise up the torch and light the way
Roxas(returns):
Proud and defiant
We'll slay the giant!
Let us seize the day!!

(All - while shaking hands and high-fiving and meeting each other)
Wor-ld to Wor-ld
We all had fun!
One for all and all for one~

Leon(returns):
Time for the end-ing of our play!
All others echo:
Time for the end-ing of our play!
Namine(skipping in):
Seen lots of worlds along our way
All others echo:
Seen lots of worlds along our way

All(while the other characters slowly trickle in and sing):
Nothing can break us
No one can make us
Give our hearts away

(Everyone joins arms shoulder to shoulder and sway back and forth)
Wor-ld to Wor-ld
We all had fun!
One for all and all for one!!!

((Hold for THUNDEROUS applause, take bows, and go home kiddies!!))
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