o_o; Does anyone even use this Journal anymore? Eh. *shrugs* Anyways, I came up with this idea while watching a preview for that Stranger Than Fiction movie yesterday . . . while having skimmed through cheesey, crappy, yaoi fanfics. So, I talked it over with Tenten and we sorted it out and came up with this. I hope you all enjoy it!
Tsunade: (sighs) Ugh . . . so much to get done. (throws the papers down) It's all so boring!
(enter Tenten, running while waving a folder in her hands)
Tenten: Tsunade-sama! Tsunade-sama! You gotta read this! (hands her the folder, giggling) I just barely finished it! Read it and tell me what you think.
Tsunade: (takes folder and clears her throat as she begins to read aloud) It was a clear Saturday morning when Uzumaki Naruto decided to go for a walk.
(Naruto enters to the front-center-stage)
Tsunade: He was still rather tired, for he had been up all night long.
Naruto: (yawns and stretches)
Tsunade: The night before, a certain person had been on his mind, causing him to turn restlessly in his sleep.
Naruto: (in the middle of Tsunade's reading, he begins to notice her voice, and starts looking up and around)
Tsunade: Uchiha Sasuke, his team-mate, his rival, and most importantly . . . his lover.
Naruto: (looks slightly disturbed) My . . . my what?
Tsunade: Ever since the night Sasuke had taken his . . . . what is this, Tenten-chan?! (shock)
Tenten: (snatches the folder away and takes over the reading) Naruto had felt almost shy around the Uchiha boy. But now, he realized he could not stay away from his Sasuke, with his raven hair, his milky white skin, his -
Naruto: (looks around) Who's saying that?! What is WRONG with you?!
Tenten: But on this particular day, Naruto was about to find out that not only Sasuke had deep, passionate feelings for him.
Naruto: (runs up to him, shaking his shoulders in panic) Sai! Sai! Can you hear that?! This voice is like, narrating my life! And adding creepy things into it!
Sai: (stares) . . . . . Are you okay?
Naruto: (drops to his knees) Nooooo~ I'm not okay, 'tteebayo! (whines as he speaks)
Tenten: The young man known as 'Sai' had always had a great love for the Kyuubi host. And, noticing that Naruto had shyed away from Sasuke temporarily, Sai decided to make his move.
Naruto: Can't you hear that!?
Sai: (kneels down to see Naruto face-to-face) No, I don't hear anything . . . . but . . . Naruto, there is something that I have to tell you. (embraces him)
Naruto: Gah! Stop! You're following the voices now! (tries to pull away as Sai embraces him)
Sai: Be mine, Naruto! Not Sasuke's!
Naruto: I'm NOT Sasuke's!
Sai: (manhandling Naruto, trying to kiss him)
(enter Sakura, into Tsunade's office in the back of the stage)
Sakura: What are you guys reading?
Tenten: (hands Sakura the folder) See for yourself!
Sakura: (awkward voice) As Sai confessed his undying love over and over to Naru . . . What the hell?!
Tenten: Keep going.
Sakura: . . . to Naruto, he was only pushed away. For Naruto was very frightened and confused.
Naruto: (still trying to keep Sai off of him) Well, duh!
Sakura: His heart belonged to only one person.
Naruto: No, it doesn't!
Sakura: And that person was . . . (jaw drops) SASUKE?! (advances on Tenten) What are you writing?! This is disgusting!
Tenten: No, it's not! It's yaoi!
Tsunade: I think it's HOT!
Sakura: Eew! How can you use Sasuke-kun in such a dirty, revolting piece of writing?!
Tsunade: Well, if you aren't gonna read it . . . (takes folder and clears throat) Naruto cried out in protest, finally managing to pull away from Sai.
Naruto: (does this as she reads) Finally!
Sai: But, I love you, Naruto! (grabs his wrist)
Naruto: No, you don't! You're under a spell, Sai! Snap out of it!
Tsunade: But before Sai could do anything more to Naruto . . .
Naruto: Oh, no . . . .
Tsunade: His savior came to his rescue.
Sasuke: (stare) . . . . . . . . . . Sai . . . what are you doing?
Naruto: (shoves Sai away and hides behind Sasuke)
Sai: I'll never let you have him, Sasuke!
Naruto: Sasuke, tell him the truth! He's gone crazy!
Sasuke: You're right, Naruto.
Sasuke: You don't belong to Sai.
Sasuke: You belong to me.
Tsunade: But Sasuke didn't want to fight. He wanted to make up for the precious time since his wonderful night with Naruto.
Sakura: Stop reading that!!!
(enter Hinata, into Tsunade's office, but off to the side so she isn't noticed yet)
Sasuke: Shadow Clone Jutsu! (hand signs)
(enter a Shadow Clone, who starts to fight with Sai)
Sasuke: Now . . . (turns back to a stunned Naruto)
Tsunade: And then, Sasuke took Naruto up into his arms . . .
Sasuke: (does so)
Hinata: (stares, hands over mouth in horror)
Tsunade: And passionately kissed him on the lips!
Sasuke: (kisses the flailing Naruto)
Tenten: (glances over at Hinata) Oh, hi, Hinata-chan! Wanna read my fan fiction? (pulls her over)
Tsunade: (hands Hinata the folder) Go ahead.
Hinata: (takes it shakily) S-Sasuke carressed Naruto's cheek as he pulled out of their k-k-kiss. The Kyuubi host stood stunned at his l-lover's actions, even though he p-pined for more.
Naruto: I do not!! (flail)
Hinata: B-b-but Sai wasn't about to give up.
Sai: (knocks down the Shadow Clone) Hey, Sasuke . . . I have an idea . . . (smirks) Why don't we share?
Hinata: N-Naruto's heart raced at this new s-suggestion. And Sasuke s-seemed enlightened.
Sakura: (has taken to clasping her hands over her ears, saying 'LALALALA!' to block out Hinata's reading)
Sasuke: (smirks) I like that notion.
(they drag a screaming, kicking Naruto off stage, while the Shadow Clone follows)
Naruto: (from backstage) Nooooo, 'tteebayo!!!
Hinata: (getting into the story, her voice seems to get bolder and more excited) And then they took his -BLEEP- and -BLEEP-ed his -BLEEP- and . . . and they -BLEEP-ed and -BLEEEEEEEEEEEEP-ed a-all night long and then -
Tsunade: Hinata! Relax!
Hinata: (blush) S-sorry.
A voice: (it could be anyone) Hokage-sama!
Tsunade: (begins to gather up her papers) Well, I'd better get going. Thanks for sharing your story with us, Tenten-chan.
(long silence, as Sakura, Tenten and Hinata stare at each other)
Sakura: . . . You people scare me. (she exits)
Tenten: (grin) So . . . did you bring your's, Hinata-chan?
Tenten: Well, let's hear it!
Hinata: (holds up her own folder that she brought with her) I-in the depths of the Mist Village, two young men walked together on a
(enter Haku and Zabuza)
Haku: (looks up and around for the voice) Do you hear that?
Zabuza: Hear what?
Tenten: Ooh! That sounds good, so far!
Hinata: You haven't even read my KakashiIruka one yet! (smile)
(they exit, giggling)
(after a small moment of silence, Kakashi enters)
Kakashi: (runs in, pauses in the middle of the stage) OH GOD! HELP ME! (he runs off stage)
(Iruka enters, waving a pair of hand-cuffs)
Iruka: (sly voice) Oh, Kakaaashiiiii~ (runs off stage after him)
- The End -